The last two May 12s have been… Well, they’ve been bad. I’ve done a lot of screaming into the void and thrashing about at a world that could be so fucking unfair as to deprive itself of one of the greatest men to ever walk it. But not this year. The rage is gone. The sadness is still there, of course, that he can’t see what we’ve all done with ourselves - what I’ve done with myself. But the point is, we have done a lot. His friends have moved on to do big and awesome things. And he was a part of all of them, even in his absence.

See, the real friends are the ones you don’t have to see all the time to remain friends. The ones that you know you could lose touch with for 6 months and pick back up with as if there was no time lost - probably in mid conversation. And that is who PZA was, and is, to me. And everything I’ve done in the world without him, from starting a new career to making peace with San Francisco, from accepting my growing older to reaching a point in my life where I can say I’m truly happy, Zane was there for all of it. And Zane was the inspiration for all of it. I got two tattoos about a year ago, blackbirds on my arms, in honor of him. And I turned myself into a daruma, the Japanese good luck charm, by coloring in only one of the birds’ eyes. With a daruma, you color in one eye and set a goal for yourself. When that goal is accomplished, you color in the other. My goal is to live up to what that man would have wanted me to be, and when I get hit by a bus in 30 years with both eyes colored in, I plan to run into him again, beer and backgammon board in hand. And I refuse to let his passing prevent me from living a life that will make him say, when he kicks my ass at my favorite boardgame yet again, “Hey dude, good job down there.”

So, tonight, when I meet up with all his old friends, I will not be mourning the man I lost, but celebrating the friend that still drives me to do and be my best. I am forever grateful that I got to spend as much time with him as I did.

I used to write daily in an observation journal. It started as an assignment in a fiction writing class at SFSU. Every day, I’d carry around my Moleskine daily journal and, when inspiration struck, jot down a sentence or two. These could be actual observations about my physical environment, such as: “Sky’s the color of cobalt and cream.” More often, though, they’d be short plot ideas, snippets of conversation, interesting sentences, or things I’d overheard. And then, a little over a year ago, I stopped. And I hadn’t really thought about it lately.

I also used to carry another Moleskine, this one a basic, unlined hardcover. This was just for random notes and, mostly, doodling. I’ve never claimed to be an accomplished artist. Quite the opposite in fact. But I love doodling. Mechanical pencils, fountain pens, empty white pages, and I get along really fucking well. Close at hand as I write this, I have two such notebooks, full of attempted drawings of fractals, half-completed mathematical proofs, sketches of a previous version of this website, album cover ideas for a mixtape, and a stack of Polaroid pictures. But, I haven’t really used these much in the last year. And I hadn’t really thought about them.

What the hell changed? Why can I trace my complete lack of journalling to about a year ago? On thinking about it last night, I think I’ve figured it out. I got an iPhone. Now, don’t get me wrong, I fucking love my iPhone. It’s the best piece of tech I’ve bought in years, probably since my first laptop. It’s certainly become an invaluable part of my life. But, with the internet at my fingertips, has my desire for personal expression in the analog world gone down? When I’m constantly Twittering overheards (side note, when you see “OH” in a tweet, that’s what it stands for) does the need to keep track of them in a Moleskine decrease? Why bother writing down observations about the world when I can take a picture and post it straight to Facebook or Flickr? As my digital output increases, must my analog output fade away? If so, I’m not happy about it.

So, those were my thoughts last night. And then, today, while reading my unbelievably immense list of feeds in Google Reader, I came across this wonderful bit of synchronicity. And I realized that, as with dating and death, I am not alone in having these questions. If someone has taken the time to make (really quite nice) notebooks specifically for analog tweeting, then there are a lot of us feeling this same disconnect. And so, fuck it. Today I bought a sketch pencil and some new ink for my fountain pen, and threw my old Moleskines into my bag. Let the journaling begin again. And maybe the results will find their way onto teh interwebz later, but the point is that they will begin life in the real world. You know, that place that we actually all live.

I bookended my trip with two conversations on how our social media enhanced public lives alter the way we deal with universal aspects of humanity, namely dating and death. A third conversation, in the absolute middle of the conference, dealt again with dating (with an emphasis on sex).

Brave New Dating

Hosted by new friend Ryan McMinn (a gentleman and a scholar) and slightly longer-time friend Ali Watkins (one of the best parts of SF, real talk!), the panel was described as follows:

The dating protocol as we know it has become outmoded. The web has changed the dynamics of our social circle. Just as courtship was replaced by dating, should we now redefine dating or move to a post-dating world? Discover a new approach focused on the outcome rather than the process.

The turnout was clearly far greater than the SXSWi organizers had anticipated—they had to move the wall to make room for late arrivals, and far more of the crowd was sitting on the floor than on the chairs. In a very participatory discussion, Ryan and Ali talked about the many problems with dating in the post-Facebook, post-Twitter, post-Flickr world. Stories, from them and the rest of the room, included anecdotes regarding FB relationship status, Twitter stalking your new crush, and whether or not to de-friend your ex. A couple highlights, from rather hazy memory:

1. What is the protocol for fucking and Facebook? Are you obligated to add the person you are seeing before you have sex? What about after? Are one night stands Facebook friend material?
2. Is unfriending the only way to deal with a break-up? When your ex is Twittering about the new guy she’s hanging out with or you see him in a picture on Flickr with some girl, can you deal with it? Or do you have to stop following them in all social media to keep your jealousy in check? Can you ever friend them again?
3. My favorite was a guy telling about an old ex of several years finding him on Facebook and requesting to add him. He was hesitant, as he was unsure how his current girlfriend would react. He expected bad repercussions and intense jealousy from her if he were to click “Approve”. In a fantastic monologue, the inimitable Tantek Çelik issued the following advice, which the panelists wisely allowed to close the conversation: “No fear! Be bold!”

Sex Lives of the Microfamous

This one was organized by Nick Douglas and Melissa Gira, and was described thusly:

What kind of person talks about their sex and dating life on the internet? Someone desperate for attention? Or someone who already has lots of it? For the microfamous, having a relationship in public is as much a potential career boost as it as a vulnerability.

It turned out to have a lot in common with Ali and Ryan’s talk, though there were a few new wrinkles thrown into the mix:

1. Apparently, many people have a no-Googling rule when it comes to their love interests… This makes a lot of sense to me, but jesus that’s got to be hard to resist.
2. Living a freely accessible, public life online can lead people to believe they know you very well before they even meet you. “I know all about you from your blog.” “Yeah, you’d think so, wouldn’t you?”
3. “You can either date me, or blog about me, but not both.” An ex once asked me if I wanted to be “the boy”, “M”, or “Micah” in her personal blog. I told her Micah was my name, so Micah was fine for the internets, as well… Now I wonder if that was a good idea.

And that’s really my main takeaway from this talk, and turned into a long conversation with Ryan on our way to the next talk. With social media, everyone has the potential to be the next Kevin Rose or Dooce or Julia Allison, and it is now our responsibility to manage our online identities and reputation ourselves. In the days of micro-celebrity, everyone needs to be their own PR firm. And that is incredibly weird.

Who Will Check My Email When I Die?

Organized by John Romano and Matt Ludwig, this conversation became incredibly heated and passionate very quickly. From the schedule:

Ever wondered what will happen to your digital existence after you die? E-mail, images, domain names, social networking content – do you want to leave it behind, “bequeath” it, or delete it? Come discuss legal, technical, and philosophical issues that will define your death and your digital afterlife.

Now, this one was a little close to home for me. Since Zane died, his MySpace page has remained active, with his old friends continuing to post notes to him… I do it myself. And I’ve never been able to wrap my head around it, about why we feel compelled to do this.

So, the basic gist is this: We have created massive amounts of content in the cloud. Our blog posts, Flickr uploads, Facebook pages, Twitter updates, etc. all add up to create a compelling picture of ourselves. But what happens to that content when we are no longer around? Do the rights revert to the company providing the service? To our next of kin? To anyone? Online identity is not legally considered an asset, so how can it be packaged such that it IS an asset and can be bequeathed. There were no answers to these questions, but it is vitally important that we consider them now.

And I guess, when it comes down to it, that was my thought on all three panels. There are no answers yet. This is all still too new (and love, sex, and death too old) for there to be any easy solutions. But the important part is that people are thinking about it. That I am thinking about it. And that, to me, is what SXSW should be all about.

+ Sit as close to the front of the plane as possible. This allows you easy access to the door as soon as the plane lands.
+ Ignore the taxis and airport shuttles. If your hotel does not have a free shuttle, find a city bus (got from AUS to downtown for 75 cents)
+ Pack virtually noting, or everything you could possibly need. There is no middle ground.
+ Kentucky coffee on the plane makes the trip go by real fast (especially if the bourbon is 101 proof Wild Turkey)
+ Beer counts as dinner. Taco trucks count as dessert. BBQ counts as breakfast.
+ Get out from behind the camera and experience an unmediated life. Yes I’ll be taking pictures, but the key is that memories work better than digital photographs.
+ Same goes for Twitter. I’ll be posting, and I’ll be checking in on Brightkite, but if you’re stuck in your phone, you’re missing out on so much potential.

Pictures and Day 1 recap coming tonight or tomorrow morning.

Another service I’ve been way into recently is tarpipe. Basically, it’s a stripped down Yahoo Pipes for social media services. It looks something like this:

This workflow allows me to email a specific address a picture. The picture is uploaded to Flickr and Facebook, then the link to the Flickr page is shortened using Tinyurl (I’ve since switched to is.gd), and it is posted to my Twitter with the subject line of the email as the text in my tweet. The developers are really responsive on Twitter and getsatisfaction, and seem to be consistently adding new functionality. Once they get blogging support, expect to see some updates from there as well.

What the fuck ever.

2008 was an interesting one, but the important parts came only at the very end. Newly single, I made some interesting realizations that have since come out elsewhere. Boiling them down to merely the talking points:

1. I am happier now than I ever have been in my life.
2. This despite the fact that I am unhappily single.
3. Where, until recently, I was convinced I wanted nothing in my life that I could not drop at a moment’s notice, I now realize that I am ready in many ways to settle down. I don’t want this immediately, but I see in my future marriage, property, and children. And sooner than later.
4. AND THIS ALL FREAKS ME THE SHIT OUT!!!
5. Within the next, say, five years I would like the following to be true: I am married, or am with someone I would want to marry; I have a child, or am with someone I would want to have a child with; I own an apartment, condo, or house in San Francisco; I am running my own company; I have colored in the eye of the bird on my right arm [1]; we have gotten Zane’s book published. These goals are obviously not set in stone. If I am not married at 32, it’s not like I’m going to jump off a fucking cliff. But these goals set a tone for where I am at now, and where I’d like to be in the near future.
6. DID I MENTION THAT THIS SHIT FREAKS ME OUT NO FUCKING END?! LIKE, SERIOUSLY! A KID?! AM I READY FOR THAT?! GAHHHHHHHHHH!

Hmm. Growing up is an interesting thing, innit?

1) Graphic designers, cartoonists, etc: At first, this seems like an obvious choice for visual artists, especially those that use Photoshop often, which has all sorts of beautiful support for pen-based systems. The sample systems at Macworld were running Photoshop, and it was very nice — much more intuitive than a normal Wacom tablet. I drag my pen across the screen and a line appears. There’s a problem, though. Photoshop is packed with features, and many of them require a keyboard to access quickly. Hotkeys are the name of the game when it comes to hardcore PS use, and Captain Modbook here doesn’t have a keyboard. Sure, you could pack along a wireless keyboard, but that adds bulk and sort of defeats to purpose of a slate style tablet.

2) Doctors: Apparently doctors like tablet PCs. They’re small, portable, and you can quickly jot down notes while talking to patients. Microsoft has made their tablet initiative a priority over the past few years, and have the software to prove it. Apple… well, not so much. In the few mintues I played with the Modbook, which uses Apple’s Ink handwriting recognition algorithms, I averaged about 30% accuracy. Granted, my handwriting is not the best, but doctors are not know for being incredibly legible themselves. I’d hate to get a prescription for 900 mgs. of Vicodin when it should have been 400 (this is a lie, I would gladly accept said prescription).

The same argument can be made for anyone else for whom the appeal of a tablet lies in the handwriting recognition.

The problem is not insurmountable. I have little doubt that within the next few years, we are going to see some amazing tablet initiatives from Apple. However, the Modbook is not quite there. And this makes me sad.

+++

Oh, another thing about the Modbook before we move on to the creepiest thing Macworld brought us: For $2279 we get the base version of the Macbook with a pen digitizer. For those keeping track, that’s $2279 for a $1099 computer plus a Wacom tablet. Granted, the build quality is superb, and there were no doubt some intense engineering issues in getting the thing to fit together so seamlessly. But my suggestion? Buy the Macbook by itself, and drop an extra $999 on the Wacom Cintiq 12WX. That comes to $2098 for the same computer with an extra screen that is also a digitizer… plus you get to keep the trackpad and keyboard. Seems the better deal to me.

+++

That unholy pod thing pictured to the right is the Metronap Energypod. There’s no way I can come close to doing this justice, so let me give you some quotes from their webpage:

The MetroNaps EnergyPod solves a contemporary problem: most work spaces do not offer their employees a place to rejuvenate. The result is that people seek rest in places not intended for it: at their desk, in a conference room, a parked car or even the bathroom.
(I’ll comment in italics after these quotes. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve certainly fallen asleep at work before. But seriously? YOU’RE AT WORK! You know, the place where you… do work. Not sleep.)

Practice Makes Perfect: With some practice and preparation, anyone can powernap. If you are not normally a napper, try the techniques below at the same time each day for three days. You will quickly develop the skill. (Anyone can nap… that is perhaps the most brilliant statement I have ever read. Cause, you know, I wasn’t sure if I could nap. I mean, it’s not like I’ve been doing it since THE DAY I WAS BORN!!!)

Napping improves alertness, productivity and mood. Researchers recently discovered a nap a day can also decrease chances of dying from heart disease by 37%. (Imagine I am Jon Stewart. Now I imagine there is a slide behind me that has the preceding text on it. Now imagine I am reading the text out loud, and now I am staring at the camera with my (that is, Jon Stewart’s) patented “Whu…?” face.)

Maybe I’m being overly critical. Maybe I shouldn’t be as indignant as I am… but see, here’s the thing. Humans actually need very few things to survive. Food, Water, Sleep. That’s about all that’s needed at the basest level, but let’s expand our list a little more to the things that aren’t Necessary, but are certainly necessary (see the distinction?): Food, Water, Sleep, Physical Contact, Social Interaction. All of these, but one, have been productized. We buy food and bottled water. The oldest profession on the planet has been selling physical contact for somewhere around forever. We spend money to go out, we spend money for school, we spend money on all sorts of forms of social interaction. But we’ve never really had to spend money on sleep. Sure, we buy fancy mattresses and sheets and hotel rooms and the like. But we don’t need those things to sleep. I can get a perfectly restful sleep under my desk, in the back of a car, on the floor, under a treet. And I don’t need someone to tell me that I need to sleep. I know. And I certainly don’t need someone to sell me a bad science fiction movie prop in which to do it.

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