micahsaul

…and they always fall in love with the girl that smokes Parliament Lights.

I smoke. I am occasionally embarrassed by this. I occasionally try to quit. The problem is, those little motherfuckers are delicious, and I will likely be a smoker for a while still. So, let’s talk branding.

It is rarely a good idea to include brand names in your writing. The girlfriend was talking about reading some chick-lit novel recently in which the protagonist was constantly saying things like: “This is Midnight Smoke eyeliner, by MAC. It’ll look really good with your pale skin…” etc. This is bad. For one, product placement can be really jarring if handled poorly, as is the case here. For two, it hopelessly dates the piece (as an example, how many brands in Blade Runner are still around? Pan-Am, really? I’m certainly not saying Blade Runner is a bad movie because of this, but having ads in the future for a company that has gone the way of Dinersaurs Cereal). For three, no seriously, who the fuck talks like that?!

However, I occasionally break this rule. Yes, I have been known to include name brands in my prose. But I am selective. Pringles are still reconstituted and extruded potato wafers, Pabst Blue Ribbon is cheap beer that won first place at a county fair. But my characters that smoke (meaning most of them) smoke Camels and Parly Lights and Gauloise.

Why is this? Why do I make the choice (and it is clearly a conscious one) to break my hard and fast, no brand name rule when it comes to smoking? The answer is simple: cigarette brand is characterization. What a person smokes does a lot to say what that person likes, dislikes, etc. In short, who they are.

A Couple Examples:

A Marlboro smoker sure does want to be a cowboy… only one problem: he ain’t. See, a Marlboro smoker is a Bud drinker, a Broncos fan, a McDonalds eater. There’s nothing really wrong with those things, but they’re not the cowboy thing to do. Cowboys were rebels, criminals, archetypal tricksters in the Coyote vein. Cowboys were not, are not, and never will be mainstream America. I should know. I smoke Camels.

Now, a Camel smoker just likes a good tasting cigarette that is easily available anywhere in the world. I’ve found my brand in Istanbul, Budapest, Tokyo, Amsterdam, and down the street at the corner store. Yeah, it’s mainstream. Yeah, it’s still an all-American brand. But Camel’s like the pre-2004 Red Sox. Always second best, always the outsider. That’s probably why Camel’s are smoked by all the real Cowboys I know; the hardcore kids, the bike messengers, the Southern punks, the New Orleans circus freaks… all Camel smokers.

The Camel vs. Marlboro debate is the same as the Red Sox vs. Yankees rivalry, the Mac vs. PC battle… it is a battle between two inherently disparate world views. And working that into fiction is perfectly acceptable.

COMING TOMORROW:
The lesser brands, including Parliaments, Kools, American Spirits, and the non-smoker cigarette: Cloves.

Also, why the Camel guy always falls for the Parliament girl, and should never date another Camel smoker.

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